What Others Think

This was a lesson taught to the youth of our church a few weeks ago. I identified with the message, and I thought others might as well. So I’m sharing.

Life is too short to spend time and energy worrying about what others think of us. Or should we care about what others think precisely because that really matters in this short life? Should we be radically free from what others think, so that we don’t fall into the indictment of being a “second-hander” or “man-pleaser,” a slave to expediency? Or should we keep an eye out for what others think of what we do, so that we don’t fall into the indictment of being boorish and insensitive and offensive? The answer is not simple. John Piper, Life As A Vapor

This is an odd predicament that we often find ourselves in. Do we adhere to the teaching of and the sharing of the gospel in all situations, no matter who we may intrude upon, offend, or otherwise put off? Or should we focus on maintaining a good reputation among others by tending to their feelings and desires, and being a “real” person by having an open mind and relaxing our rigid boundaries of right and wrong?

Let’s look at what the Bible says about such issues. In Luke 6:26 Jesus says, “Woe to you when all men speak well of you.” In Galatians 1:10 the Apostle Paul says, “If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Mark 12:14 and 1 Thessalonians 2:4 also contain similar messages. According to what Jesus and the Apostle Paul say here, we are not to be concerned with making everybody happy. In fact, we are to be concerned if everybody is happy with us. Furthermore, Paul says that you cannot serve Christ and worry about making everybody happy at the same time. The answer seems simple when you ask the right question: Do I please men, or God? Should I bend myself to please men who have the power to destroy my body, or do stand firm in order to please God, who has the power to judge my heart and appoint my eternity? In this light, obviously, I wish to please God above men.

However, continuing to use the Bible as our guide, we find what seems to be conflicting passages. Proverbs 22:1 says, “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.” Likewise, 2 Corinthians 8:20-21 says, “We want to avoid criticism of the way we administer this liberal gift. For we are taking pains to do what is right, not only in the eyes of the Lord, but also in the eyes of men.” And, 1 Timothy 3:7 says, speaking of church leaders, “He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap.” Romans 15:1-2 and 1 Peter 2:12 also provide useful information to this issue. According to what we read in these verses, it is not only desirable, but also of very high importance to achieve and maintain a good reputation among your peers and all those around you. This is of such importance, that it is listed as a requirement of being a church leader, like an elder or deacon.

So which is it? What are we to do? Surely there are plenty of circumstances in which we must decide between pleasing people and pleasing God. How do we know when to please who? If we believe the Bible does not contradict itself, then what is it trying to say to us? Maybe we are asking the wrong question. Maybe we don’t have to view the decision making process as having an “either/or,” answer. Consider what Paul says in Philippians 1:20, “I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” There it is – To live is Christ! What he is saying is that in everything we do, our primary concern should be to glorify Christ. If we keep that goal of exalting Christ in focus in our everyday decisions, big and small, easy and difficult, we cannot go wrong. Most certainly there will be times when we must do what others may not be pleased with, just as there will be times when we should bend over backwards for them. But if we consider Christ, we can both please our Creator and hold the respect of our peers at the same time.