Back That Up

“Back that up!” Usually the call of geeky computer programmers or rappers named Juvenile, but it’s rapidly catching on with NFL head coaches. And what matters to head coaches, matters to fantasy owners.

In the past two weeks, ten out of thirty-two NFL teams found themselves without their starting quarterback on the field. That’s about five sixteenths (the fraction won’t reduce any further) of all the teams in the National Football League that had their quarterback, their “field general,” their leader sitting on the bench. A backup QB leads a life of uncertainty. He patiently waits on the sidelines, fetching the coach’s Gatorade, sometimes for years, just for one chance to prove his worth. These eleven quarterbacks (the Raiders are actually on their third) stepped between the lines as an effect of two causes. Seven were replacing injured starters while four got the nod due to underachievement by their senior pigskin chuckers.

Two of these teams were on a bye last week, Baltimore with Billy Volek and Tennessee with Vince Young. But of the remaining eight teams that did play, what would you figure their win/lose ratio to be? If you supposed “not good,” then you would be right. Five teams, Seattle with Seneca Wallace, Pittsburg with Charlie Batch, Arizona with Matt Leinart, Miami with Joey Harrington, and Dallas with Tony Romo, all lost. Two teams, Kansas City with Damon Huard and Tampa Bay with Bruce Gradkowski, both won, albeit by game winning field goals at the end of the game. And flying in the face of all logic and reason, the Oakland Raiders with Andrew Walter and Marques Tuiasosopo, won convincingly. And for those keeping score, that would three eighths of the backup quarterbacks that won.

So, what can we learn from all this? 1) If you are an NFL starting QB, upgrade your Aflac. 2) Trends show that if you are a backup QB, you have better luck the longer and more phonetically challenged your last name is. 3) If you are a fantasy football owner, don’t expect much out of a backup quarterback. And, 4) the Raiders were so bad with their starting QB, that a backup did not hurt them in any way, and as the NFL’s only winless team, the law of averages simply caught up with them and afforded them an unearned win.

If you find yourself in peril with your stud QB sidelined for whatever reason, here are three I would recommend for week 8 (and I use the term ‘recommend’ very loosely). Charlie Batch for Pittsburg – he can pass with the best of them and has five touchdowns with zero interceptions. Matt Leinart for Arizona – he will be up against a downright pitiful pass defense in Green Bay. Vince Young for Tennessee – he will probably rush for as much as he passes for against a porous Texan defense. You can probably find these guys hanging out in your Free Agent pool, and if you decide to pick one up, good luck!